Monday, May 07, 2007
38 Things that I have learned in 38 years
Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. In the spirit of celebration I have listed 38 things that I have learned in the last 38 years. 1. Hugs don't cost a thing but are worth millions. 2. The words "I'm sorry" are as powerful as "I love you." 3. You can get a prescription for a Chihuahua if you have asthma. 4. New socks feel good on my feet. 5. Budweiser and pickled eggs makes for a rank fart in the morning. 6. Dune is a great movie. 7. Paste still tastes good. 8. Gay marriage is okay as long as both chicks are hot. 9. The coyote never wins but he never gives up. 10. The sound of fire hose "flaking off" the back of a pumper is sweet! 11. Dance like nobody is looking even when nobody is looking. 12. Mojo is stronger than the force. 13. Government cheese is good on animal crackers. 14. God is in the details. 15. For everything you loose, something new will replace it. You just may not notice it yet. 16. Japanese people have funny names. 17. Jack Lambert was one mean football player. 18. Moderation is only good in moderation. 19. God has his "A" game on when he made the female body. 20. All men are created equal, women are created better. 21. Sosa's are damn fine cigars. 22. Hearing "I love you daddy" opens my eyes, softens my hearts, and empties my wallet. 23. Seeing a guy getting hit in the balls with a wiffle-ball bat is still very funny. 24. That gooey-yellow thing in "pork-n-Beans" is the "pork." 25. Herbie Hancock and Earle Clugh are musical masters. 26. There is "something" out there. 27. Rock-n-roll ain't noise pollution. 28. A hemi cuda will smoke a big block camaro. 29. Going to bed with an itchy butt will cause you to wake up with smelly fingers. 30. I like sleeping on top of the covers. 31. Ice cream is better served cold. 32. Revenge is a dish best kept in the back of the fridge until it turns green and hairy and then you throw it away. 33. The best way to handle conflict is to confront it. 34. Houdini rhymes with weenie. 35. The smell of my wife's hair makes me sleep better. 36. It is easier to pee sitting down when you are sleepy. 37. Dogs are good. 38. A rich man invests in his family. Keep it real yo.