Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Why Men Cheat...For really

This morning I read a blog (here is the link http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/2/why-men-cheat ) regarding why men cheat. This point of view was the traditional man cheating on his female partner with another female. The author gave four reasons: Biologically we (men) are wired to wander, to get the attention we need or may not be getting from home, in order to get out of a relationship, and finally because the sex is getting boring. The author of the blog knows his stuff, hell he even used a lot of big words. BUT, I think his editor (probaly a woman) may have sanitized it a bit. So, I gonna keep it real for all of us. Some men cheat because they are still little boys. Spoiled little boys want what they want when they want it. Some men cheat because the can see no further in life than the head of their own peckers. God gave us enough blood to run a brain and a dick, but not at the same time. Some men cheat because they are opportunistic. They have no intentions of ever cheating and then along comes Condi Rice, a few drinks, and Bam! We are knocking boots. That was the easy stuff, let's dig a little deeper shall we? Before we married you we were the most brilliant person you ever met. Now the we are married we (men) are the dumbest bastards God ever created. The wife often takes on the role of a mother. Most men do not want a mother. Actually what most men want is Mrs. Cleaver, mixed with the young Elizabeth Taylor (seen Cleopatra?), throw in some Marilyn Monroe, add Rebecca DeMornay in Risky Business, and top it off with any female porn star. Simple huh? Now that I have added sex in the mix, let me explain it. God most assuredly has His "A" game on when he came up with the female body. You can find something beautiful in any woman. Now men have different tastes in women. Some like butts, some like boobs, some like legs, some like certain hair color or race. Most of this stems from early influences in a mans life or first experiences. I wonder how many men married women that look like their school teachers when they themselves were in the 6th or 7th grade? For a man every sexual encounter with his wife is not going to be an epic love scene. Sometimes it is just sex. Nothing bad, but just sex. A man needs to borrow a part of your anatomy, not your brain, and have sex with it. It does not mean he doesn't love you, or that he thinks less of you. It is just sex. It will be the roughess-toughess 15 - 35 seconds you ever had. Now I am not going to talk about the sex act itself. If you and your wife are having issues with different sex, uh, things. Ya'll should have figure that shit out before you got married. It is kind of too late after she has got half of your pension, your truck, and the house to learn that Miss Freak-a-deaky has turned into Mrs Squeaky-squeaky. I am not saying that you should have had sex before you married her, but, maybe you should have at least talked about it before you sprang the old "bobbin' for apples" routine on her during your honeymoon. And finally, a man washes his truck every weekend because he likes nice things. He wants people to think when he drives by "that man likes nice things." So in the spirit of a washed truck, ladies get your ass out of those sweat pants and into a pair of 501s. Do women know that a pair of sweatpants can make even a size 0 ass look like two bear cubs fighting in a gunny sack? Don't give me that bullshit about "I should feel comfortable about our relationship that I can relax and be myself." I can almost assure you that he did not marry you for your backside, but it was a bargaining chip that got him to the table............. Ah shit my wife is up....Better go before she sees me writing this....Yes dear!.......

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree. Women do need to get out of those sweat pants and put on some make up. Who wants to come home to something ugly? It doesn't hurt to wear a push up bra, high heels, and Levi's (and no panties or a thong). Be sexy. Men love sexy. And flaunt what you've got. If it's your eyes accent them, if it's your legs wear a short skirt and this is where the no panties part is exciting provided you don't end up like Britney Spears. So, to sum it up. Be sexy. Have sex (I mean theres 24 hours in a day why can't you give up a few minutes during that time period, and hour tops) and don't bitch about it, DO NOT NAG EVER, cook a good meal on occasion, and during halftime of a football game take him by the hand and lead him to the bedroom and blow him, sorry to be so blunt, but this one thing I think has given me the status of a Queen and I pretty much get what I want. Hey just the facts, ladies. You can't go wrong with football and head.
Love you Krissy Poo.

MUD said...

The US Government funded a 1.5 Million dolalr study to determine why the head of a man's penis is bigger than the shaft. Their findings was "to provide the man with more pleasure". Not to be outdone, the French spent 2.5 million dollars on the same study and found that the size of the head was "to provide the woman with more pleasure". The Canadians did a study, spent $24.00 on a case of Molson and found that the knob was to keep the man's hand from slipping off the end and smacking him in the head. MUD